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For many people, summer means wedding season! There’s always a cousin, a coworker or a group of friends saying “I do” during the warmer months. To help you be the best guest possible, here are nine mistakes to avoid at a wedding.
RSVPing and not showing up
Weddings are expensive, there’s no way around it. That’s why couples carefully wait for RSVP cards to know exactly who will be attending their big day. The reason is simple: they need an accurate headcount to plan meals and seating for everyone.
According to The Bridal Association of America, the average cost of feeding a guest is around 85$ per person. This includes food, cake, drinks and service. It’s no surprise that catering is usually the biggest wedding expense. If 12 guests don’t show up after confirming, that’s over 1000$ wasted, not including décor and guest favours. Unless it’s an emergency, not showing up after RSVPing is a major etiquette mistake.
Not RSVPing and showing up anyway
On the flip side, not taking the time to RSVP can also create major issues for the couple. It might not seem like a big deal if it’s just one person, but in reality it rarely is. If you show up without confirming, you likely won’t have a seat at dinner and there may not be a meal for you. Couples usually provide a pre-stamped RSVP card, so responding is simple and takes just a moment.
Bringing uninvited guests
If your invitation doesn’t include a “plus one” or specifies an adults-only event, there’s a reason for it. Even if it’s disappointing, the guest list has been carefully planned based on budget and space, and that decision belongs entirely to the couple. Avoid bringing additional guests who were not invited (see mistake #2).
Wearing the wrong outfit
Choosing what to wear to a wedding can be tricky. Some couples forbid white, others encourage it. Some want formal attire, others prefer something more relaxed.
The invitation usually indicates the dress code. Here’s a quick guide:
- White Tie: The most formal dress code. Think royal wedding level. Women wear full-length gowns and elegant accessories, while men wear tailcoats, white shirts and white bow ties.
- Black Tie: Still very formal, but slightly more accessible. Think red carpet events. Women typically wear long dresses, while men wear tuxedos with black ties.
- Semi-formal / Cocktail attire: The most common wedding dress code. It allows guests to dress elegantly based on the season, weather and venue. Women often wear cocktail dresses or dressy tops and pants, while men wear dress pants and a button-up shirt.
- Casual: Most often used for outdoor weddings. Guests have more freedom, but jeans, shorts, plunging necklines and nightclub-style outfits should still be avoided. When in doubt, it’s always better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed!
Not respecting the « unplugged » ceremony
More and more couples are choosing to have an unplugged ceremony, meaning all electronic devices must be turned off during the vows, including phones, tablets and cameras. Pay attention when you arrive, as you’ll often see a sign reminding guests of this rule. The officiant will also mention it before the ceremony begins. This allows everyone to fully experience the moment with their own eyes rather than through a screen.
Interrupting the couple at the wrong time
The ceremony has just ended and you’re excited to congratulate the newlyweds. That’s completely normal, but it may not be the right moment. After walking down the aisle, couples often have a packed schedule of photos, including wedding party, family and couple portraits, while guests enjoy the cocktail hour. Thankfully, there will be plenty of time later in the evening to congratulate them and chat!
Complaining
“If it were my wedding, I would have done things differently,” “The bridesmaids’ dresses are ugly,” “We waited less at my cousin’s wedding,” and so on. Complaining only makes the experience less enjoyable for everyone, including yourself, the person you’re talking to, and possibly the couple if they hear about it. Weddings rarely go exactly as planned, and small issues often happen behind the scenes without guests noticing. It’s best to go with the flow and focus on celebrating.
Being (too) drunk
Being a little tipsy at a wedding is completely normal, and often even part of the fun haha! That said, it’s important to know your limits and respect them. Ideally, alcohol consumption should start at the cocktail hour. Drinking before the ceremony can quickly create uncomfortable situations, especially during religious or more formal ceremonies where respect and discretion are essential. The goal is to enjoy the celebration without going overboard. The atmosphere should stay fun and pleasant for everyone, and definitely not require security or police intervention!
Leaving in the middle of the festivities
Unless you have a valid reason, leaving early is not recommended. First, you’ll miss important moments of the evening. Second, it often creates a chain reaction where other guests start leaving once their friends go, even if they would have liked to stay longer. It would be a shame if there weren’t enough guests left for the bouquet toss (something I’ve personally seen happen!) As a general rule, once dinner has been served, the cake cut and the first dance completed, it’s usually an appropriate time to leave.
Last update: April 2026
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